20 Lessons in 21 Years

It’s my birthday today! Woohoo! I am scheduling this post to go up on my birthday, and all things going well, I will have had a lovely weekend with family and friends! I will update you all soon.

In celebration of me turning 21, I thought I would make a list of 20 things I have learnt in the 20 years I’ve been alive. I know I’ve technically been alive for 21 years today, buuuuut I’m writing this before my birthday sooo sssh….

1. Don’t worry so much about what other people think about you.

 I used to be, and still am sometimes, so conscious about how other people think of me, but it’s just not good for me. At the end of the day, people most likely don’t care, and are more concerned with themselves!

2. Stand up for what you believe in.

 I hate when I see something happening out in public that I know is wrong, or when I have to bite my tongue at family events because someone says something I don’t agree with. I want to try and stand up for myself, and others, a bit more, because I know I would appreciate having someone stand up for me.

3. Try not to be so self conscious.

Along a similar line to my first point, I really want to try not to be so self conscious. I still find it really difficult to go out with no makeup on, because I think everyone will stare at me and ask if i’m ill about 1000 times, when really, I wish I just wouldn’t care. I also hate when the weather gets warmer, because I suddenly have no idea what to wear because I have such low self esteem and confidence that the thought of getting my arms and legs out literally makes me want to crawl into a hole. This year though, I feel i have definitely gotten a bit better, and I hope I can continue to stop caring a bit more!

Cheers to turning 21… also thanks Dan if you’re reading for the pic! x


4. You don’t need loads of friends to be happy, only a few great ones. 

Something I’ve definitely learnt and come to terms with, is that a large friendship group isn’t always a great thing. I only have a handful of really close friends, but that’s so fine by me. I feel like when I got to uni I thought I would be so lonely and boring if I didn’t make 100 new friends, but as it turns out, that was not the case, and I’ve made some of the best friends i’ve ever had at uni!

5. People can’t read minds, tell them how you feel.

Sometimes, I can find myself getting frustrated that they aren’t doing something which to me seems so obvious. I forget sometimes I think, that people cannot read my mind, so won’t always be able to tell how I’m feeling. If somethings on my mind, it’s best to just let it out and then go from there.

6. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can be terrifying, but great things happen when you do.

 Some of the best moments in my life, have come from me pushing myself out of my comfort zone. For example, coming to Uni. No-one in my family had gone, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for, but it’s by far the best decision i’ve ever made in my life, and I have no regrets at all.

7. Little things matter.

Small things are important to people, including me. (lol) It’s so important to just remember to check in with family and friends you haven’t spoken to in a while. Just sending a text, or giving someone a phone call once in a while can really make people’s days sometimes.

8. Don’t be rude to people.

It’s kind of common sense, but sometimes, I’m genuinely shocked at how rude people can be- especially having worked in retail since I was 16! Don’t be rude!!

Cats would never be rude… also look at the pure joy on my face from being surprised by another cat jumping down to join the fun…


9. You are entitled to say no to things you don’t want to do.

So many times I’ve just done things because I thought I had to, or didn’t want to feel as if I was letting someone down, but i’ve come to realise that I just don’t need to do this! If I don’t want to do something, I can say no, and it’s not that big of a deal.

10. Wear whatever you want.

This links back into the not being so self conscious all the time, but I can wear what I want, and if I like it, and feel good in it, that’s all that matters! I have a bright yellow coat, and now a multi coloured pink jacket, and usually i’d be like ooh noo it will attract too much attention to me, but now, I really don’t care. Plus my new pink jacket is really bloomin’ cool.

11. Take lots of photos.

I love taking photos! And I really love looking back on old ones. My best friend at school and I would meet up after school and do “photoshoots” all around where we live. It was so cringey, but now I look back at them and I can remember the time so well and it’s just a good laugh!

12. Keep a diary.

I’ve had a diary since 2011, and although I don’t write in it everyday anymore, it’s still funny to read old entries. I’m going to keep it going until I fill up the entire notebook, but even if you just write in it whenever you can remember or be bothered, one day it will be interesting to look back on!

13. In a relationship, you can still have your own life.

I feel like in previous relationships, I’ve always just done what the other person wanted, their friends were my friends, etc etc. Since coming to uni, and becoming more confident in who I actually am, I am definitely no longer like this at all. I still have shared friends between me and Adam, which I love, but he also has his friends, and I have my friends as well. I don’t feel bad if I spend time with my friends etc etc. Adam, I know you’ll be reading, and you’re pretty great- I love you.

14. Let people help you if you need.

I hate asking for help. But when I do ask, I usually always feel better, and it’s never as bad as I make it out to be in my head.

 15. Change is usually always a really great thing.

Change can be so scary, but I’ve found it usually all works out okay in the end. Friendships change, life changes, things happen! Let them.

 16. It’s okay to take a day out occasionally. 

If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed sometimes, and just want a day to yourself where you do nothing but watch netflix and eat snacks, that’s okay. Sometimes it’s needed.


My happy place

17. Try to be as organised as you can.

I stress myself out way less, if I’m organised with my time, and plan out my weeks. It might seem like a chore, but going into a week knowing what you need to get done by the end of it, always helps me stay motivated. (Most of the time.)

 18. Although you hate it, tidy your room more, it’s so much nicer.

My room is literally a mess as I write this, so now I’m going to tidy it as soon as I finish. It’s just so much nicer coming back to a tidy room at the end of the day, and also it’s easy to be productive if the space around you is clean!

19. Don’t bury your head in the sand when it comes to money problems.

I absolutely hate worrying about money. I always feel as if I’m the only person in the world with money problems and I get so stressed out! My Dad always says if you try and ignore things, they get way worse, and it’s true. I’ve tried to be a lot more sensible recently and to confront things head on.

 20. Stop trying to be like other people, be yourself.

And finally, to end on a cliché (this whole post has been cliché really) but I need to stop comparing myself to everyone, and what they’re doing, and just focus on me, and be myself!


So, 20 lessons/things I’ve learnt in my now 21 years alive. I hope this post wasn’t too rambley (i did have to write it out twice because it somehow vanished… lesson learnt… back up my work) I’m sure I’ll pop a post up soon about what I got up to over my Birthday weekend!

 Now, I’m going to go tidy my room!


 Thanks for reading,

Love, Lauren xx



  1. Lena
    April 22, 2018 / 8:34 pm

    one more time happy bday from me! I hope you had a lovely day! Really liked this post because I'm also soo self conscious and I really want to change that.. love the pics with the cats and how happy they made you 😀 have a great start to the week xx Lena

    • Lauren Harding
      April 22, 2018 / 9:01 pm

      haha, thank you Lena! I had such a nice day actually! And glad you liked the post! Self consciousness is so tricky but hopefully can work on it! xx

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